Random thought

Every time we look in the mirror, we see someone vaguely different than the last time we looked. Every day we change. Our opinions, thoughts, face, personality even. And finding someone who loves you everyday for all your life is an incredible thing... Because you stuck together through all the changes and still felt that fire in your heart.

Sandy Hook Elementary Angels

Lately I have been very, very busy. By the time the baby is asleep and I have a few things done around the house, I'm too tired to write. However, I felt I needed to write a quick blog with my condolences to the families who suffered great loss at Sandy Hook Elementary.

As the news becomes available and I update myself, my heart breaks further and further.

Twenty 1st graders had their lives taken far too soon. And the rest of the children in that school have lost a piece of their innocence they can't get back. I am thankful for the brave teachers who put themselves in harms way to protect their students, even if it meant giving their lives. My heart is currently with the parents who have lost their babies - the most precious things in their lives - and the parents who are terrified to send their children back to school again.

Every moment I think about the tragedy that took place yesterday, I squeeze my daughter a little tighter. My prayers have constantly been with those mommies and daddies who lost their babies. There truly are no words to describe the sick feeling in my gut everytime I imagine the horrible ordeal the people of Newtown, CT are going through.

When I find the time, I'll write more. But for now I'd like to post a link incase ANYONE wants to send a small donation to help the families in their time of mourning. There are a few different places to send money set up. Please check it out, and if you can spare a dollar, please do so. I'm sure if the nation came together to help them out a little, it would mean so much to the families.

http://www.cnn.com/2012/12/15/us/iyw-help-for-victims-of-sandy-hook-shooting/index.html

I'd also like to send a thank you to all the law enforcement and personel who have spent the last two days managing the situation, helping children out of the school, investigating and seeing those terrible images inside of the school that I'm sure none of them will ever forget.

Enjoy having your babies this Christmas and pray for all the families whose babies will be spending Christmas with the Lord in Heaven.

Just some of the photos I've found.
Please remember the victims, not the shooter. Learn their names, see their photos and mourn with their families. Any person who can commit such an act doesn't deserve their name to be remembered.

We Are All Young In Love

Although I may be young, I'm living in the adult world. A new fish to the big pond, so to say. And through all the time I've spent observing and watching those my age, a few decades older and even half a century older, I've come to a conclusion. We are all the same in certain ways. I've seen couples that have been married for 50 years have the same arguments that my husband and I have. I've seen women get angry over the same things, whether they're 18 or 78. I've seen men get frustrated with their spouses for the same reasons they did when they were young. Some things, we never truly grow out of.

I was 17 and a half when I married my husband.

I got a lot of comments like this -
"You don't know what you're doing, you're rushing into this and you two won't make it a year."
"You're too young to know what real love is."
"You are going to regret getting married and missing out on so many things."
"Just try to consider this your 'practice marriage."
"It's pretty messed up that you're 17 and married."
"Is that legal?"

I knew I loved Patrick. I don't know why or how, but somehow I just knew. We have now been happily married for a little over 2 years. Of course we have had trials, hardships, arguments... But as far as I've seen, doesn't everyone? Patrick went out to sea for a month about a month and a half after we got married, came home for 2 weeks and then deployed for about 8 months. 2 months after he returned, we celebrated our first anniversary. A lot of people said we had only done well for that long because he was gone for so much of it.

Although he was gone, it was a constant aching in my heart. I was living in an apartment in Virginia ALONE, at age 17. I had no family, not many friends and I didn't know the area very well. I spent a large majority of my time trying to find friends, laying on the couch with my dog watching Netflix and crying... It was the hardest period of time in my life. There were fights while he was overseas. There were phone calls where we hardly said a few sentences to each other because we were upset about something. There was drama - people passing rumors. Deployment was very hard. A lot of people asked me, "Why don't you just break up and go home if you're so lonely? Go back to your family and friends, go back to school and start working?"

But I wouldn't. I was determined to stay strong on the homefront, to work through any difficult times and to persevere when things were rough. I wasn't going to give up on my marriage. It wasn't because I didn't believe in divorce or I was scared to do it. I didn't want to and I knew that when Patrick came home, life was going to be perfect again and I wasn't going to let any amount of time apart take that away from me. This was the man I wanted to have babies with, own a home with, travel with, make memories with. He was my best friend and my favorite person in the world.

Whether you're 16 or 100, we are all niave. We all say stupid things in arguments, we all get upset over silly things, we all have rough times. The key is to decide what is worth it to you. If at age 16 getting married to your significant other is important to you and you've met someone who you believe is worth it, and they feel the same way back, go for it! We all have the ability to work towards things we know are worth it in our hearts. I've seen women in the middle of their lives get married on a whim, or get married after meeting someone a few months previous and end up very, very happy. The older you are, the more time you spend in the real world. You see the way the world works, find a groove that you live well within, trial and error until you find the correct paths, however... When it comes to love and what is in our hearts, there is no age to say what is and is not true.

My husband has been one of the biggest blessings in my life. If I would have given up on us because times were hard, I would be an entirely different person with an entirely different life. I like who I am and the life I live. I like who I am because I made these choices. I persued things I found to be important enough. We both worked together through the past few years to continue living a beautiful life.

After an argument, when things have cooled down, both of us always regret any harsh words used, any hurt feelings or even arguing in the first place. It is human nature to argue. Once you live with the same person for long enough, the gates open with the ability to be audibly mad at them, argue with them, etc. For example, living at home with your parents. I don't know about everyone else, but I've fought with my parents millions of times. Once you are close enough with someone who you're sharing your everyday life with, fighting is normal. It doesn't mean you're in a crappy marriage, you're unhappy or you shouldn't be together. That is, unless your fighting has become physical... Which in my opinion, is NEVER okay.

I've been rambling quite a bit, but moral of the story is...

We are all young in love.

Patrick, here's my quote for you.
"I seem to have loved you in numberless forms, numberless times, in life after life, in age after age forever."
- Rabindranath Tagore




(photos above from top to bottom are - wedding day, celebrating our "honeymoon" around our first anniversary, our second anniversary and finally, Evelyn starring down Patrick's beverage on our dinner date for our 2nd anniversary)

Moments of Impact

I really loved in the movie "The Vow" and how Leo describes "Moments of Impact." If you don't know what I'm talking about, here's the direct quote.

 



"My theory is about moments, moments of impact. My theory is that these moments of impact, these flashes of high intensity that completely turn our lives upside down actually end up defining who we are. The thing is each one of us is the sum total of every moment that we’ve ever experienced with all the people we’ve ever known. And it’s these moments that become our history. Like our own personal greatest hits of memories that we play and replay in our minds over and over again.”

 

Below are some of my own personal "Moments of Impact." Since it's late and I'll have a little girl waking up in about 6 hours to nurse, I will only briefly explain each. As days go on, I'll tell you a little more about each one individually.

 

 



Graduating High School

I graduated high school with the class of 2010. My entire life I was a part of the class of 2011, however, I was itching to move closer to my high school sweetheart, who was in the US Navy. So, I took a handful of college courses outside of school and managed to pick up an early graduation a few days after my 16th birthday. This moment was the beginning of my own adventure. It was the first moment of impact that I created all on my own. When I packed up my car and left for school in Virginia, my life certainly turned upside down. I went from living at home - free food, place to sleep, people always around to talk to, to living in a very large city where I knew no one besides my boyfriend. It was also the first thing I did without a single double thought or regret. It was the first time I truly followed my heart and helped me start towards who I am today.

 

First Comes Marriage...

November 26th, 2010 at the age of 17 and a half, I married my soulmate, Patrick. My parents fortunately were able to see the true love between us. We had been best friends, crushes, boyfriend and girlfriend and the love never stopped growing. They gave me permission to marry him, and boy am I glad they did. This moment of impact was a moment my heart will never forget. I still remember my sweaty and clammy palms as I walked the aisle. I remember my dazzling fiances smile as he turned to see me walking up the aisle. I remember the minister joking about how we had to wait until the end to kiss. On that day, I became one with my other half.

 

Then Comes A Puppy...

Patrick and I moved into our new apartment and the following day, he went out to sea. Fortunately, my mom had been on the search for a companion for me. Molly entered my life at the perfect time. Patrick was about to deploy within the next 2 months and his submarine was out to sea alot to prepare. My sweet little puppy weighing in at 4lbs when I got her was the answer to my prayers. Throughout my husband's deployment, we hardly parted. I took her grocery shopping with me, talked to her, watched movies with her, snuggled her at night and spent many hours walking and modivating each other to get sunlight. She was a godsend while my new husband was gone for so long. Without her, life would have been much, much harder.

 

9 Months Later, My Husband Came Home...

My heart was racing the day my husband returned home. I was terrified he wasn't going to love me, wasn't going to connect or click with me. It had been a long and difficult deployment, with very little written communication and very little time to hear each other's voices. However, our love was unchanged. We embraced each other and it was as if the sky had just exploded. I was no longer half a person, I was full. I was floating on a cloud and unable to let him go. I realized that there was nothing the two of us couldn't withstand. Deployment was the biggest trial in our life, and we won.

 

 

 Then Came Another Puppy...

We had decided to wait on having a baby so we could pursue a few goals and enjoy being young still. One night a few minutes to the mall closing we ducked into the puppy store to look at all the cute puppies before heading home. One little puppy starred at us with big, beautiful eyes from her pen as a Jack Russel Terrier jumped around and ran into her. The poor thing looked so lonely and unamused with the other dog. We asked a gentleman to let us hold her in one of the special puppy rooms. It was the move that brought our sweet, doe-eyed clutz of a puppy, Bailey, into our lives. She has been a comic relief in times of seriousness. She has been a soft cuddle since the day we brought her home. She is Molly's right-hand-dog and I'm so glad to have two sweet, loving dogs. Walking into that pet store was another moment of impact, bringing us a "baby" so to say.

One Week Later...

Ah, the famous "Plus sign." Bailey, as baby-like as she could be, couldn't keep the fever (baby fever, that is) away. We were swept away in excitement from this discovery. We wondered whether we would have a little girl, a little boy - whether it would have brown hair, blonde hair, black hair, blue eyes, brown eyes, big feet, little feet, my complexion, Patrick's complexion. For 40 long weeks we waited for our little one to arrive. But I will never forget the unbreakable smile I had upon seeing the plus sign. I placed the pregnancy test in a gift bag and told Patrick I had a surprise for him when he got home. Expecting a video game, candy or something of the sort, he ripped open the bag to find the positive test. And I still remember his smile and kiss. Another beautiful moment of impact. 

 

 

Then Came Baby...

On June 26th, my labor began. It wasn't until June 27th, at 2:11am, that I gave birth to the most precious thing in my husband and I's life. Evelyn Rose, 7lbs 11oz. When they placed her on my chest, it was an out of body experience. The living, breathing, crying, beautiful baby I was starring at had grown from microscopic size to a functioning human being, all inside of my belly. And now she was here. I think both my husband and I would agree, Evelyn thus far, has been the biggest moment of impact that we both shared. She has changed our everyday life, our hearts, our minds, everything. She is worth every tired morning, every night we don't go out anymore, every dream put on hold. She is the sun of our world. The miracle of being a parent has been the most joyous event in both of our lives.

 

 

Stay tuned for more "Moments of Impact" as our life goes on.

 

 

 

Ramble, Digress, Babble, Meander, Beat Around the Bush...

Hi, I'm Laurel, and...

I like to talk. Alot.

If you were to go to a high school reunion of mine and start asking around about me, you'd gather alot of interesting stories, fun memories, jokes and personality traits of mine. But the one thing I can almost guarantee you that you'd hear from everyone you asked - I talk alot.

Always have, still do and always will. That is, if you are within earshot.

Since moving to Virginia to marry my high school sweetheart, I've had less ears to hear my day to day babbles and rambles. Bless my husband, who enjoys a good conversation, but is not nearly as talkative as me. I find myself talking endlessly when he arrives home from work. I ask him questions, telling him meaningless thoughts and stories I've thought of or heard throughout the day, chatting about everything from how he looks tired to how the baby had been fussy all day. I can find almost anything to go on and on... and on... and on about.

During the day at home it's just my daughter, Evelyn, and our two dogs, Molly and Bailey. I have to admit, I converse with all three of them. However, they don't say too much back. Although I'm sure I'll be in for it when my little Evie starts chatting fluently. At first I could talk to them for hours and not really notice I wasn't getting much of a response. This is something I do often. I get chatting and it's like the brakes have been cut and there's no stopping. There's no way to end the conversation, no way to part ways or even change topics half the time. This used to really embarrass me and make me uncomfortable. I felt like no one wanted to even make eye contact with me in fear that a conversation might strike up. However, throughout high school and my young adult life I've found alot of people who really enjoy my conversation.

I've made a handful of good friends in my time in Virginia, and I have many, many friends back home in my home state of Pennsylvania, however a large majority of the time I'm here at home taking care of day to day things. As boring as my days may be, I can still find things to say. So here I am, starting this blog, in hopes of having my voice heard by whomever will be willing to read. And of course, those of you reading have lucked out - Because if you get tired of a topic or have other tasks to complete, you can minimize the page and come back another time.

I encourage everyone who reads this to TALK BACK. Give me any topic, any thought, and comment and I will gladly turn it into an entire blog just for you. Like I said, I like to talk.

I hope you all enjoy the conversation.